then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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