Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Two words: blizzard sex
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
