My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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