all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize