Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
