dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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