yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
