I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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