You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
