problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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