i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
two words: eviction party
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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