Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
