I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
