The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
