So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Mom said you looked used
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
