i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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