i would punch a child for taco bell
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Be still, my beating vagina.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
