just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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