I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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