Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
