Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
