Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize