Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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