Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
