I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize