good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
