She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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