If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
