And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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