Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I love you.
Bad choice
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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