The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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