I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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