my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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