I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
