I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
