I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
