I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
