I wanna bring you to show and tell
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Let's paint friendship bongs
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
