I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
