i jhust puked up my retainher.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Alive.
So much puke
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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