her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize