Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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