So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
