Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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