I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Less talking, more tequila
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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