You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
