i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Randomize
