she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
