Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
