I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
