Midget sex pt 2 tonight
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
