love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
