He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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