Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
