Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Quick, to the slutcave!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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