She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
