sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
