He is an equal opportunity slut.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
