My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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