Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
