Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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