Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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