So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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