Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we're making bets on your personal life
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
