Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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