Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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