you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
