No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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