capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
