problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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