We won't sleep together?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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