She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
