But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize