Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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